ambulance atmosphere atonement article afterlife animal affection alcohol attachment? in a time like this? i can only think of being held, by you, who has never held me before i can only think of being held, by you, who will then have to let me go i can only think of being held, by you, and then i begin to think of more consequential matters 
 bandana blasphemy ballistics bicycle botany baptism battery balcony beginning of a new world i can see land from where i am sleeping we can grow there, if we do not sink the water is up to my knees and i believe in what’s to come 
 capital customer cognition computer countenance companion colony creation call everyone you’ve ever loved and tell them the story there was once something beautiful here and it’s just nice to be able to speak to someone who saw it too distortion dilation dynasty december dopamine difference density devotion distance is the only thing keeping me alive if i let you in where will i stand please tell me, where do we stand? i did not want to stand here alone 
 energy expression element enterprise envelope equation endearment emptiness estimate the future and divide it by two add three multiply by seven keep the answer to yourself, it’s not something i’d like to hear 
 family funeral foundation furniture frequency follower fairytale fundraiser feeling rather than touching to be sensed, a sensation when i walk down the street people do not notice me and they walk directly into my physical form as if it was just a memory i was reliving in a sunlit room far away from here, a ghost from my own past 
 gallery gravity genesis gasoline genetics graffiti guardian gathering gripping onto the railing, i walk down, remembering that everything that can be lost will be lost when they said they would reach out later, i believed them, forgetting that i had walked down the steps my grandmother, i have to call my grandmother
 hydrogen history happiness hospital habitat highlighter harmony halloween how many people would it take to change enough lightbulbs for us to see something far greater than ourselves our shadows stand behind us, doomed to follow in our footsteps
 internet insurance illusion interest inception innocence instrument infection imagine imagining a better world stop drawing lines for everyone’s sake, please stop drawing the fucking lines
 javelin jugular jealousy jewelry jupiter juvenile journalist jackhammer justice is a hard thing to come by, they stopped selling it in the stores i once heard of a man who sold typewriters out of his garage in san francisco
 kilogram kinetics kingfisher kidnapper kodiak kentucky koala kindliness keeping my feet on the floor and my back straight and my arms out and my head tilted and my knees bent and my heart beating and beating and beating and beating 
 library lovelessness lottery levitate ligament location litterbug letterpress living after that’s all we can attempt to do
 memory media melody mercury mitosis messenger mosquito monument mistakes, you kept making them you can try forever and that’s all it will ever amount to i saw you desire perfection and i wondered if you had ever felt calm
 nobody narrator novocaine notary nonfiction novelty nursery nonevent nothing is unachievable i have searched everywhere for it seeking to transform into a concept that defies the laws of being but i wake up in the morning and i go to sleep at inight i will die as an object or perhaps even as a subject 
 oxygen opposites opening obsession oblation overload objective overture on the last day on the first day on any of the days in between i had no idea it was that day until it was over 
 parallel proportion packaging paradox procession policy producer prediction partially due to my inability to be known, i’ve become partial to someone who does not see me yet here i am pained when all of this this is proven true 
 quality quarantine quarterback quietness quantity questionnaire  quantify quotation quit demanding walls to be built by bricks that are crumbling in our hands i want to see the other side of this facade who is operating the heavy machinery under consumption of fear 
 rosary replica receiver rhetoric remainder refraction resistance retriever rising the sun does it every single day without complaint no one pushes it back down, it does so on its own volition 
 suggestion surgery spectator signature statistics sentiment salvation selection smiling in the face of a well so deep that only those who never plan on returning gaze inside there is a sense of joy in the acceptance of all that destroys it we can laugh about it later 
 traveler tinnitus tradition telescope tolerance transition temperance tartarus tell me i am tell me you are tell me i am tell me you are tell me i am tell me you are you’re a liar, aren’t you 
 uniform uselessness urgency utensil ultraism utterance usurper utopist under no circumstances can we continue as we had before that is the only certainty i have come to there has never been anything to prove me wrong sometimes i wish i was, there are many moments i long to return to, people and decisions 
 virulence vexation vanity vibration vocation vertebrate variant vacuity voluntarily knowing i had no choice in the matter, we are all here to do our jobs i show up, i clock in, i show up, i clock in, i show up, i clock in i have never clocked out and i am scared of the inevitable 
 wilderness weariness wretchedness woodcutter windowsill withdrawal wallpaper watchmaker what is one person’s pain but only a small remnant of the world’s most common experience i watched my father cry i cried until my nose bled 
 xanthosis xylograph xenarthra xenotime xenograft xenolith xylophone xenophon xoxo yours truly even when i should be mine and mine alone 
 yesterday youthfulness yieldingness yearnfulness yokeldom yardmaster yosemite yenisei yeah i get the words i see them i read them i take them in they become me and i become an amalgamation of experiences i will never know
 zeppelin zoology ziggurat zymosis zodiac zootheism zetetics zealousy zephyr, blowing in i see the branches of the tree swaying i think to myself, it would be nice to be a singularity of a whole and then i think about the people who complete me and i feel content and then i think about losing them and i feel everything else the branches remain unchanged, or at least not in ways that i will ever be able to understand anarchy bewilderment contagious deliverance epitome fatality grandeur habitual innovation january ketamine lingering monumental negligible obscenity pavement quota romantic sanitation tangible ushered vulnerable withering xerox zenith

one singular idea that does not exist outside of itself my skeleton is dancing on its own the structure of my form i didn’t think it would end up like this in here so sweet i wait in fear in the distance there is a soft steady stream of emergency vehicles singing their songs reminding us that we are standing on the brink of imminent danger and behind us there are men in powdered wigs waiting to push us off into a certainty i would rather not say and so we will fly, or we will fall, or in the best case scenario we will fight them to the death and we will live of serenity or solitude to be subjugated by the indefinite peace has never felt so violent here in my room i just wanted to pray for the rain wishful thinking for sunny days once upon a time there was a town next to a river and on the other side of the river stood four people their arms were crossed and their chins were pointed up towards the skies and they said “i have heard the words spoken by he himself” and so the townspeople ran out of their homes, their doors flung wide open, letting the flies in to devour their fruits and their children to hear the words spoken by he himself translated by the mouths of strangers and in time the townspeople went back to their homes to find their homes had been replaced by factories their food had perished and their children, abandoned in their youth, were now grown and haggard, manning the machines please don’t take it all away i have always been an angry person and i can finally understand the rest of the world have we ever considered communicating with each other at an emotional level? there are no language barriers to see when someone is in pain or in love or deeply disappointed i believe we can come to some global conclusions regarding the fate of our species through our shared tears and laughter a mother with no mother mothers a mother i call my own a father with no father leaves my father for months as a child all alone my mother and my father mother and father myself when i was 22 i lost myself and when i was 23 it was the whole wide world there is nothing quite as beautiful as something you cannot describe in the event of an event in which the earth as we know it stops spinning i will attempt to illustrate said object i will use only the deepest core of my being which no one else can directly witness and i cannot tolerate to express in its most outward direction sheepishly, i will fail and in this transit from trying to an indisputable defeat, i will realize what must be done i will sit front and center and fully accept that i did not accomplish what i had set out to do no one will clap and no one will understand the story that i had fumbled with my futile organs and that which holds them together and forces them to dance i will stand up and try again until the room is empty and everyone has gone home the closest i will ever get to my initial purpose is perfectly describing a memory of a beauty i once observed with all of my senses and that night, after a long walk home from an inconsequential congregation, someone else, in the quiet darkness, will experience something in which there are no accurate words to articulate at a later date and yet they will feel galvanized into pursuing the impossible in a moment of temporal ambiguity in order to make sense of what has been lost and what we can find in the residue